Me And My Charm’s Birthday.

I love the fact that my father’s birthday is three days ahead of mine.I remember when I used to tell him that “I’m older than you,daddy.I came first”.and I have been totally believing it!. We used to celebrate it together,he’d always surprised me with plenty of presents and for I was moneyless child my gift had always been two kisses on his warm cheeks and a big big great hug. If I had just one wish it’d be that you be here now,father. They say now you’re in a better place and I would be too if I could see you grinning from ear to ear, hugging me and saying happy birthday my girl I’d be over the moon indeed,but sadly I’m celebrating it alone this year.

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Strangership 

There was a stranger I met,Courtly and pure still,

Wise yet mad as well,

his soul poured ecstasy and bliss٫he seemed poor devil nevertheless; he was full.Euphoria was when he spin a yarn. I met him soon, two months and a year, a splendid year indeed.

A solemn promise we took; to be openly frank , silence was detestable, though serenity was a pleasant for both, actually for both of us.I had always fled for a safety in his speech there I found quietness and peace. 

You may assume he is my lover ,yet he is more better than that for me. I call him my stranger still, though he is the closest to my soul. Mama said “don’t talk to strangers.” and he is the kind of stranger that I want to keep.

Purely dangerous,

Quietly decent, 

Impulsively romantic; the features he owns makes him a treasure in a barren desert.

You may assume that I love him and I assure you, my dear readers.

Broken hearted girl!

My friend tried hard to convince me to meet new guys , So I might forget all about him. I didn’t listen, I kept my hope that he might come back and prove them all wrong ; all who laughed hard at me and said he ain’t a man , to those who made fun at me because I’m a nonsense and overwhelmed that I’m still loyal and waiting for him!

My heart broke into pieces with every sarcasm they made , piece by piece, I tried not to care , piece by piece I tried to never forget his promises, piece by piece my heart got broken , piece by piece he left me breathless , piece by piece I became heartless, piece by piece I’ll meet new guys piece by piece I’ll mend my heart , piece by piece he proved me that all of my friends were right.
I wiped my tears, don’t worry dear me.

That look I had after a long crying set could break stones not only him.

..

“He didn’t think i was good enough for him. he made that clear every time. but what he didn’t understand was that if he thought i might not be good enough for him, he definitely wasn’t good enough for me. i was well aware of my flaws, but i knew my merits, too; i shouldn’t have to be anyone’s second-best. least of all, his.”

A Daughter Losing Her Dad

“ A daughter losing her dad.”  How could you be so heartless and ask her why is she always sad ! Im asking you now , what on earth can make her a happy girl ? You got no answer for me I know.

She has got no father to call him daddy.

No man to be her hero

No guide to guide her path 

No one to get her back 


What on earth can make her a happy girl ?

When her second name is his,but she only carries it without him,when her mates at school ask her”why are you taking a taxi,where is your daddy pick you up?“,when she tries hard to adjust but life keeps on letting her down!

She is fragile and she acts as if she were strong.

How could you be so heartless and ask her why are you sad ? 


When she needs safety,

her daddy is no longer there.

When she needs love,

her daddy is under the ground.

When she needs a guiding star,

her daddy passed away.

When she is down the aisle,

her daddy is dead !!

Do you still wonder ? Or should I carry on ? 

~ Trust me , she doesn’t need your sympathy now just leave her alone 

She can do better than you ! ☺️


~ Siham Fitouri

Privilege!

It doesn’t matter whether you keep their messages and pictures or you erase them, in all cases they still exist.There;When you just close your eyes – They’re there,you still remember every single detail about them like they’re still alive, still exist; they haunt you in your dreams, in a moment of sipping your coffee or falling to sleep and you can NEVER runaway from them.its like they’ve been tattooed on your body and on your pale face.The words can whisper themselves into to your ears, the pictures can always make you grin from ear to ear !!
Its a privilege; it gives you the strength to forgive your pain.

عروس نسيانك :)

ان نسيتك يوما ماً
انا حين ذاك سأحتفل بنفسي سأصرخ سأغني وأرقص سأضحك كثيراً وأشتري لنفسي هدايا كثيرة سأخرج مع صديقاتي وأداعب كل من أراه سأبتسم بهستيريا شديدة
سأنزغ عن نفسي غلاف الحزن وأضع على خدي الاحمرٓ الذي كثيراً ما ألمته بالدموع
أنا ومن كل قلبي سأفرح كثيراً وأكون عروس نسيانك
أيها اللعين !
ولكن ان سألني احد ما لماذا كل هده الفرحة العارمة
سأجيب – لقد نسيته 🙂
– من هو ؟
– انه هو ! اللعنة سأكون قد تحطمت للمرة المليون واتذكرك وابغضك وابغضك الى الأبـــــد
انت مؤلم ارجوك دعني أنساك .

على حافة الانتظار

أنتظرك
وأنا اعلم جيداً انك لن تعود ؛
ربما لاحقاً في الوقت البعيد
ولكنّي انتظرك كل يـوم
ارتعش كلما يرن هاتفي – ان كانت مكالمة ان كانت رسالة نصية او احدى اشعارات التواصل الاجتماعي !
يرن هاتفي ويخفق قلبي لعله هو ! لعلك أنت
ما من شيء مستحيل
أجل …
اسرع الى ذلك الجهاز الذكي !
ولستٓ أنت !! لم تكن أنت في كل المرات لم تكن أنت
و هذا مايجعلني انتظرك !
الى متى¿! لا ادري
تعبت انتظارك وسئمت نسيانك
..بدأت انتظرك ببؤس بملل وأحياناً .. ربما غالباً … ولكن دائماً ! انتظرك بسعادة !!!
لازال ذلك اليقين بداخلي انك ستعود
ابغض تناقضاتي !

~ انا لله وانا اليه راجعون

الثالت والعشرون من نوڤمبر ..
لا أعتقد ابداً انه كان يوم جميل منذ سنة 2010
ها هي أربع سنوات الأن منذ وفاته، لازلت ابغض هذا اليوم وهذا التاريخ .. فيه تتشتت جميع حواسي.. لازلت اتذكره بجميع تفاصيله بنواحه واصواته بفقداني للوعي وصدمتني بكائي وألمي .
كم اشتاق اليك يا والدي ..
كم احتاجك في أيامي الباردة ..
موحشه جداً حقيقة فقدانك ؛(

اللهم طمن أبي بمغفرتك له واسعده في قبره واسعده بدعائي له اسأل الله ان يرحمه ويدخله فسيح جناته..